Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
