Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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