Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
