if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Randomize
