I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
YAS. BRING CRAB.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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