it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
