were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
