am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize