I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I need a burrito and a hug.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
