Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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