Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Michael Bay diarrhea
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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