I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
