I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
