NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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