i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
