Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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