Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
