hotel room ftw
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
