I wannas sexs uuuuu
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
