is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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