having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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