My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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