I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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