If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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