They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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