Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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