theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
