Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
