This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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