Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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