I wish my penis had an off switch
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
