whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
