Your dad touched me again.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
it hurts more in the daytime
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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