Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
