I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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