Is it normal to miss your booty call?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
