I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
