Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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