How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize