I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
