Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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