beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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