I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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