hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
