ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize