I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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