i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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