You can't special order awesome
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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