I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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