i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
